I don't know why I am writing this post as my tear filled eyes can barely see
what I am typing. It is the last few days and the vet just confirmed. We knew it was coming and have been preparing for it for a long time but the ominous hard truth ("It is just a matter of days") rattles our hearts. My mind is boggled with fond memories zooming past me in a disarray - Ceiloo's distinctive scent, his sniffing nose and penchant for meat, him chasing cats to the end
of the shores, digging in the sands of Marina for the badgers in Germany. A weak smile finds its way on my lips.
The knowledge that Ceiloo is just ridding himself of a tired and diseased body gives me relief. That Ceiloo will become the soul that enriched every one's life warms
my heart. Jyothi will miss him when there will be no one to demand their rightful share of the coconut she grates. Appa's night walks will be forlorn to the point that he might stop taking them. The kids who play street cricket will miss their nose dripping third umpire from the third floor patio. Even Patti and Thatha will miss mumbling to the best listener around us. And our home will miss the resonance of the invisible anklets around Ceiloo's legs, the sonorous bark when someone rings the doorbell and the disney snore when Ceiloo sleeps.
Being thousands of miles away, I can only reminisce. At this moment I only wish Appa and Amma stay strong as they see the worst before their eyes. Eating mysore pak from Krishna Sweets (only from Krishna Sweets) will never be the same again. Driving in the car without a wet nose etched to the window or a pair of ears blowing to the wind will never be the same again. Our guests will never again be embarrassingly pushed out of the sofa. Drinking milk in the night will never be the same again. Waking up in the morning will never be the same again and our lives will never be the same again. But the 14 years and 8 months (and counting) will always be there to remind us, to inspire us, to please us that Ceiloo is a part of us forever and ever.
It is about an hour since Ceiloo passed away (Sept 20th 11:44 am IST). I prayed for strength in his last moments and I heard it wasn't painful.
The days ahead will pass in a daze,
as his memories stay alive ablaze.
Ceiloo, my dear baby, may your soul rest in peace.
thushar said...
nice to see such affection :)
watch the movie 'hachiko'...its the reverse, super touching and based on a real life story
September 18, 2010 1:34 AM
Mystique said...
Thanks Thushar. Hachiko is something that I will definitely love.
September 20, 2010 1:28 AM
Whichth?? said...
Ceiloo will always be remembered, always be missed.. even by those who probably did not spend a lot of time with him, but nevertheless were a part of his life through his beloved ones.. RIP Cheechu..
September 20, 2010 11:41 AM
nivi said...
Really sorry about the loss. It is such a tough thing to lose someone. But like you said, the memories are forever, for no one to destroy. Prayers with your family.
September 20, 2010 3:30 PM
Mystique said...
Thanks for all your support. It really helps.
September 20, 2010 9:03 PM
Rahul said...
:( - all my heartfelt support to you Archu. Extending Sunil's point - Ceiloo will be remembered by those who did not spend anytime with him but knew enough that he was an integral part of your family.
September 22, 2010 7:35 PM
Jana said...
Sorry to hear the sad news Archana. Am sure Ceiloo's in a happy painless place now, and thinking of you all fondly just like you are remembering him.
September 26, 2010 1:18 PM
Arun Thilak said...
So sorry to hear that your Ceilo passed away ... Memories cant be replaced ... hopefully time will heal all sorrows ... stay strong ...
September 27, 2010 11:27 AM